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I applaud your to seek counseling. I think you are on the right track there. It sounds to me from my humble psych background that small communication problems went unchecked and snowballed into giant ones. There are now several "white elephants" in the room but you two are STILL not having the right conversations.
Without knowing anything about you than what you posted I'd say initially his ego felt challenged that you were the dominant breadwinner and he started behaving passive-aggressively to show to himself that you were not the "authority" figure. You responded in ways which were meant to be subtle reminders that he is not pulling his weight and subconsciously that you are bringing home the dough ego, ego probably via criticism on lack of chores done and how he spends his time.
In essence, exacerbating his fears of losing his "male" role. There is probably so Wives wants nsa MT Box elder 59521 pent up hostility in the house that you likely can't grow a ficus! For example it's gotten to the point where you absolutely do not want to have sex, and he not lower his defenses enough to comfort you when you are having emotional life issues cancer tests, career events.
You're probably trying to reach out and ask for his support in these matters, but he's so defensive now all he hears is more about how he isn't meeting your needs, so he just goes and slinks away to comfort himself in drink or goofing off. You two need some one-on-one time with a professional to show you exactly where these communication problems are manifested and work to "re-program" both of your tactics.
If he won't go with you, start going by yourself. You can still pick up a wealth of information and start employing those strategies at home. Clearly you are both unhappy. Try to quietly and sincerely tell him it's because you him and want him to be happy that you need to seek help. Best wishes.
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