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W hen it comes to relationshipsconflict is inevitable. Couples can disagree and, yes, even fight while still showing compassion and respect for each other, according to psychologists. That said, frequent heated and hurtful conflict is certainly not healthy or sustainable, either. You can have conflicts with your partner in a constructive way, and it may actually bring you closer together, according to a paper published by the Society for Personality and Social Psychology. Relationship advice fighting found that expressing anger to a romantic partner caused the short-term discomfort of anger, but also incited honest conversations that benefited the relationship in the long run.
If you want to navigate conflict with your partner in a healthier and more Relationship advice fighting way, keep these things in mind during Relationship advice fighting next argument :. This likely le to one partner accusing the other of not caring about them, and the other partner feeling attacked. Instead, Ostrander encourages couples to pinpoint what triggers this repetitive fight, and try out ways to compromise instead of allowing the conflict to erupt. Rather than following the same old script, notice that you fight when one person gets home, and suggest a new way around that.
Want to build a meaningful connection that lasts? Despite having even the most open lines of communicationconflicts are still bound to happen. Setting aside time to work out disagreements allows both partners the space to regroup and prepare, Grody explains. They can think about the best way to communicate their feelings in a calmer, more rational way, so as to avoid the instinct of being defensive or accusatory. Humans enter one of these modes when they think they may be in danger, he says.
When a couple is in this precarious zone, problem solving is highly unlikely, because each person is solely focused on reacting to the perceived threat they feel from their partner. I need like 10 minutes to calm down. When returning to the discussion after the brief hiatus, both people will be in a better place to make real progress, Ostrander says. Would you mind picking some stuff up? When the time comes to sit down and talk about solving conflicts, Grody says the most important thing couples can do is to listen — without interrupting.
This can be more challenging than it seems. These small adjustments can prevent countless fights down the road, Grody says. And of course, during any fight, insults and character assassinations should be avoided at all costs, according to Grody. Just as people have different love languagesOstrander says we have different apology languages, too.
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Yes, Fighting in a Relationship Is Normal—Here’s How to Do It Better