How to stop a breakup before it happens

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Last Updated: July 10, References.

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This article was co-authored by Cher Gopman. This article has been viewed 16, times. Are there road bumps ahead? Some relationships need to end, but if your's is worth saving you can start making changes right now to salvage things. No matter what stage in the relationship you're at, you can learn to manage problems before they arise, make the necessary changes, and deal with a break-up when and if it comes. Log in Social does not work in incognito and private browsers.

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Cookie Settings. Learn why people trust wikiHow. Download Article Explore this Article parts. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Part 1 of Look for problems before they arise. Worried your relationship might be heading down a bad path? The best way to stop a break-up from happening is resolving issues before they start. Strong feelings of attraction and love can blind you to a relationship's quirks and faults in the early days and weeks.

After a couple months, those faults can become bigger problems. Try going on a trip together, or spending a weekend together when you're ready. Couples who can manage that much time together will eventually see the other at their worst.

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If there are potential problems, you'll find them. If something bothers How to stop a breakup before it happens about your partner, be honest about it in the early days. Be clear and explicit about things. Say, "I'm worried that your drinking is going to be a problem. Can we talk about it? Don't expect your partner to suddenly drop the issue. Define your "deal breakers" early in a relationship. What's something that you're unwilling to sacrifice for the sake of a relationship, if you had to? What's something that you're unwilling to change? What's something that would cause you to break-up with someone?

These kinds of deal-breakers help couples be a little more open and honest about potential problems in a relationship. Some deal breakers can be small, silly things, like, "I'd never stay with someone who hated Tom Petty," but think of some more serious ones as well.

Think about substance abuse, career goals, and long-term interests as well. Have your partner name their deal-breakers as well. Maybe you like to party on the weekends, and your partner likes to spend quiet nights in. That might not seem like a big deal right now, but if it le to fights three months from now, it's going to be a problem unless you talk about it. Decide how you'll manage infidelity. If one of you cheated, the problems your relationship faces are potentially serious. While cheating depends on a wide variety of issues, it's important to try to come up with your own personal plan and code before cheating comes up in your relationship.

If you find out your partner cheated on you, does that mean the relationship must automatically end? Under what circumstances might it continue?

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If your partner apologizes? If you're apart for a while? If you've cheated on your partner, decide how much you value an honest and open relationship. If you respect your partner, tell them, apologize, and deal with the consequences. If you don't want to ruin a good thing, practiced safe sex, and plan on staying true into the future, consider keeping it to yourself.

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Decide how you'll manage distance. If you love someone, it can be tough to know what to do when they tell you they're moving abroad for the next six months. Try to stick it out via Skype? End any relationship, even a good one, just because you can't be together on Friday night?

There's no easy way to answer these questions. It will always depend on you and your partner. It's also important to find out about how your partner feels about these issues, before you go looking for jobs somewhere else. Lots of high school couples deal with this when you move away to college. It's very difficult to start college with a long-distance relationship. Make sure you discuss this with your partner as soon as possible.

Stay calm if the subject of breaking up comes up. If your partner just used the phrase "break up," or discussed it as a possibility, the worst thing you can do is make a scene and fall apart. Even if you'd like to keep dating this person, try to remain as calm as possible. Say something like "Well, that How to stop a breakup before it happens me off guard. I need some time to think about this. If you need to vent and fall apart with a friend or sibling, get that out of the way as soon as possible in private. But don't let that stop you from getting on with your life. The last thing you want is to start moping and look miserable.

If anything, you want to show the opposite and make them want to get back together with you. Make them want you. Take some time to decide what you want. Give yourself a chance to think about what's going on and regroup. What issues came up during the fight, or the conversation? What problem are you having with your partner? Is it something you'll be able to change? Is it something you want to change? If you're having problems, might it be more worth it to be with someone else for a while?

If you just had a fight, try to dig a little deeper. What was the issue underlying the fight? If you just had a little argument over the dishes, was something bigger going on? What's actually bothering you and your partner?

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Part 2 of Spend some time alone. If you're having relationship problems, maybe it's a good idea to take a little break. Let your partner know that you care about them, but that you want to think about your relationship for a while. People respect strength and self-control. If you exhibit these traits, and maintain a calm, composed and mature demeanour in the face of relationship problems, they really will think twice about leaving you. Get in touch after some time has passed. Wait a little while to let both of you cool off and collect yourself before you get in touch again. Depending on your relationship, anywhere from a few hours to a few days might be appropriate for this cooling off period.

If you've just had a big fight, give it a night or two for both of you to cool down. Try to talk when you've both had a chance to be alone and think. Some couples break up for years before getting back together. Make time to have a serious and open conversation. You don't want to have a serious "state of the relationship" talk when you're half-watching a football game at home with your roommates sitting around. Meet somewhere quiet, so you can have a long conversation and get things out in the open.

Never just show up at your ex's house and demand to talk if you've been having problems. This is a sure way to make sure that your relationship ends and the cops get called. There's no excuse for this aggressive behavior. Talk about the problems your relationship faces. After some time, it's common that both of you will feel softened somewhat to the problems that brought you here. It's important to take some time to talk about your problems though. Don't just jump back into each other's arms, even if you both feel like it, without having a How to stop a breakup before it happens talk about the issues facing your relationship.

Even good relationships have problems. Some of the problems might be conditional. If you live in separate places, or if one of you has a job that takes up all your free time, it might make the relationship too challenging to continue, even if you both like each other. Give your partner an opportunity to talk freely.

Often, communication How to stop a breakup before it happens are some of the biggest problems in a relationship. It's important for both people to feel like they've had an opportunity to speak and be heard. Tell your partner that you want to listen to what they have to say, and then let them talk. Your partner shouldn't just want to stay because you say you're sad, or because you're asking.

How to stop a breakup before it happens

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